The signs are all around us, if we would only see. Sometimes we see but don’t want to believe. Here are a few signs that an ex is just keeping you around (often as a back-up plan)
They only seem to contact you when things are going really bad with them. Of course you want to be there for those you care about. But if it’s a situation where that’s the ONLY time they contact you, that’s a red flag. It probably means that they are having problems with whoever they are dating now and they want to make sure you’re still available if it doesn’t work out.
They show a lot of interest in getting you to their place, or them to yours, BUT they don’t seem to want to go OUT anywhere with you. Also known as a “booty call”, especially if it’s late at night. If you’re OK with such, then great. It doesn’t have to be a $200 dollar a plate dinner and the opera, but just at your place or theirs would throw up a red flag in my opinion.
One more sign is inconsistency in behavior and contact. This is a situation where they sometimes talk to you and act like you’re in a relationship and then disappear. There is a good chance that they’re waiting around to see if the other option is going to work out. If the person wants to figure things out, they have the right to do so. Just don’t hit the “pause” button in your life while they’re figuring things out.
The signs are there. We just have to see them. If your gut tells you something, listen.